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Quote

Learning

Maybe you have an opinion about Donald Trump and maybe you don’t.

And if you do, something led to that formation of opinion.

Would you like to learn how you formed your opinion about Donald Trump?

And how people form an opinion about you?

Let’s expore that in today’s newsletter.

Today at a glance:

• How are perceptions formed?

• Why should you care to understand how perceptions are formed?

• How can we build good perceptions about ourselves?

How are perceptions formed?

Couple of weeks ago, I went in for an in-person interview for the role of Sales Marketing. Why? Because I wanted to polish my interviewing skills.

The recruiting manager who interviewed me was an Indian and could make out that I was one too.

We laughed and discussed what the role entailed and had a fairly decent rapport built.

Towards the end of the discussion, he asked me,

“Why do you all Indian girls colour your hair and buy products from Shein; as soon as we migrate to Canada. I bet the water bottle you are carrying is from Shein.”

In that moment, I just fist bumped him and laughed with him. I did not defend myself and say that the bottle is not from Shein. Well it really was not.

Point being, he formed an impression about me based on his past experiences and boxed me into hair colour girl with Shein products.

Might I say confirmation bias was at play.

In addition to it another concept of mental averaging was at play too. Note mental averaging and not mental addition.

Humans tend to average the salient characteristics of people instead of adding it even in the light of wholesome and robust information.

Which brings us to the next question.

Why should we care about this topic of perceptions?

Because in every sphere of life, everyone is constantly making perceptions about you and vice versa.

Would you not want an edge by having all information that is at play?

How do we build good perception about us?

The simple answer is - you cannot.

Because people will always be looking at you from their vantage point and box you from their experience.

You cannot control someone else’s experience.

You can control your reaction to how they perceive you.

Our job is not to please everyone.

What people say about having Zen mode, is bang on. Your life will incrementally improve if reduced the amount spent on how someone perceived us.

This is not to say you should make an active effort in first impressions and lasting impressions but do not dwell on it.

Additionally what you can do is be aware that “you” might be mental averaging opinions you have formed about people - politicians, friends and family.

In our work sphere especially, we could ask ourselves to switch off our default of confirmation bias.

Prompt

Today’s prompt segment involves relfection and observation.

PS: The point is to work backwards and remind ourselves how to best show up. Whether it will have the desired effect is not in our control, but we can give it a shot.

♟️ My turn:

I think they will notice that I am:

• Jovial

• Curious

• Kind

I have to show up with authenticity and smile

I have to be an intent listener to their journey to be curious about who they are

I have to check how can I help them for them to scale whatever they are wishing to scale.

Stay Cute and intentional,

Clerisa Varghese

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