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By Clerisa Varghese
Estimated Reading time 3 minutes
Quote
“It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are”
Learning
Today at a glance:
What are “Personal Values”
Why defining them matters
How do we identify our own values
You find yourself at a family gathering, engaged in a conversation with a relative when your cousin's mom interrupts, boasting about how your cousin is now the owner of a new house and has landed a job at a major tech company.
However, you choose not to boast about yourself because you value humility and self-control. This guiding principle prompts you to be a passive listener, perhaps nodding and smiling.
Something as simple as saying no to alcohol at a party is guided by value of staying healthy and valuing time spent being the day after being groggy and hungover.
Values are central to everyone’s choice.
Even when you are not choosing something, you are choosing. Not choosing is guided by some value.
What are personal values?
I have always found that the idea of values, especially at a micro level of “personal values” very philosophical
Writing this newsletter helped me articulate it.
When you call something valuable - like spending time with family or material things like a chain gifted to you by your parents, you basically treat it with respect because it holds sentimental importance to you.
The “personal” aspect of Personal values is worth exploring. What constitutes our identity?
Sociologist Charles Horton Cooley may have gotten high while writing this, we don’t know, but it is DEEP and beautiful.
"I am not what I think I am,
and I am not what you think I am.
I am what I think you think I am."
Edited by Clerisa
Read that three times, just like I did.
To combine, the personal values are things you hold important that get shaped by societal perceptions of how one should show up.
Societal values are nothing but an amalgamation of mine and yours’ value system.
Why defining them matters?
So defining our own value system is quintessential to live an intentional life that is not jarred by society’s understanding of values.
When you take time to identify and define your values you stand firm in your decision and have a more clear thinking on why you do something the way you did.
Okay full disclosure, before until I started writing this letter, I did not think about this topic in such detail. PS: That is why I love writing these newsletters. They push me to learn something new and be intentional.
Prompt
Today’s prompt segment is a bunch of 3 questions that will guide you towards identifying your value system.
Think about 1 meaningful moment from the past 1 week.
Why did that moment cut it to meaningful list?
What does it tell you about what you value?
♟️ My turn:
Last week I was disappointed about something at work and my best friend Aishwarya and I had a vent session like most friends do.
Two days after while I was on my way to work, Ash called me to remind me that “Clerisa you have a reputation and name to live up to, don’t let yesterday’s work mindset weigh you down today”
That was so meaningful to me.
It was meaningful because I have a great friend who remembered to check in on me and lift my spirits when I most needed it.
I value surrounding myself with people who empower each other.
That’s all for today.
♟️ Your turn
Stay Cute and intentional,
Clerisa
P.S if you enjoyed this newsletter, forward it to a friend.
If you’re that sexy friend,